Posts Tagged ‘movies’

July 18th, 2010

Fagbug. Yes, that’s actually the name of the movie.

Let me start by saying that it’s Pride Week here in Rochester, NY. Because I’m on the mailing list for our city’s GLBT annual movie festival, ImageOut, I got a note about an upcoming documentary at our city’s artsy theater, The Little. The story of a young woman (Erin Davies) at Russell Sage College in Albany, whose VW bug was defaced with anti-gay graffiti (which included the word “fag” in red spray paint across the driver’s window).

After contacting the police, she decided to undertake a personal quest. Instead of having the car repainted and the graffiti removed, she took the summer to drive around the US on her own – opening a dialogue about hate crimes — using the now-dubbed “Fagbug” as a conversation starter. The personal stories, prejudices, and solidarity she encountered make this a unique and interesting narrative.

Erin’s dedication to raising awareness about homophobia is admirable. I left the theater inspired to continue my own activism efforts with IN JUPITER’S SHADOW — reinforcing the concept that when we come out of the shadows and into the light, when we show the faces behind the stereotypes, we pave the way for future generations who will celebrate, not persecute, diversity. I encourage others to visit Erin’s site and view her story for themselves.

Roll on, Fagbug!


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Male Mid-Life Sucks

Posted: August 17, 2013 in Uncategorized
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June 16th, 2010

There. I’ve said it.

I know it seems ungrateful and politically incorrect and I’m not the type of person who looks at the glass as half-empty. But in my mid forties, being a guy is starting to get to me.

What I learned from watching Lifetime Television for Women in the eighties and nineties was that middle-aged men were parodied in sitcoms and advertisements — everywhere in our culture. They were balding, a little overweight, a little insecure. They had to buy a sportscar (preferably red) and flash it in front of women too young for them. They turned their secretaries into mistresses and made an embarrassing shambles of their longtime relationships. Growing up, I learned mid-life men were a mess.

Flash forward. In 2010 I hear that thirty is the new twenty, and forty is the new thirty, blah blah blah. That’s okay for Sex and the City; for people who can afford to live the flash and set the rules. I’m not like that. I am a part-time writer in Western NY in my mid forties. My parents have passed away. I AM the next generation. And I need help.

I need help understanding the changes in my body; the swings in my mood; the bleakness of my passions.

Take one example. Nose hair. It’s something you really don’t think about. EVER. I know I never did. Now it’s an almost daily annoyance. It grows in droves, tickling the exterior edges of my nose over and over (and over). I trim it. It tickles the inside of my nose. I yank it out. My eyes tear.

I long for some male guidance. Audible wisdom in the presence of a silent God. Maybe from somebody like Fred Rogers. AFTER he takes off the sweater…hanging out backstage, just him and me, talking man-to-man. In my fantasy, we talk, we laugh, we have a beer…and somehow, over a period of days and weeks of our talking, it all becomes bearable. The voluminous nose hair, the bare scalp, the paunchy midriff, and all the rest of the stuff that only he and I can talk about over that beer.

Because the beer encourages us to show our fear and courage beneath the bravado; because the beer makes us honest and thoughtful; because, somehow through the homophobic haze of this culture, the beer teaches us that men need men.


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Another Great Movie from ImageOut!

Posted: August 17, 2013 in Uncategorized
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October 17th, 2009

I am just home from the closing film at this year’s ImageOut GLBT movie festival. Several years ago, they had a wonderful closing film called Big Eden, which is now a permanent fixture in my personal ”top 10 movies” list. Tonight, I have a second favorite, called Patrik 1.5. What a wonderful story of realistic gay love, obstacles, and fatherhood. I think it’s tough to strike this balance and not be cliche, but IMHO Patrik 1.5 achieved all of that and more.

I’m so glad my nephew (Joe) and his friend (Stephen) wanted to go to this film…I had read the description last week and thought ‘Oh, a gay adoption story. It’ll probably be filled with strife and mushy cliches about how gay men can be good parents. I’ll pass!’

Shame on me for prejudging. Thanks to Joe and Stephen for bringing me to this very appealing movie…and thanks ImageOut for putting on another wonderful festival.