Posts Tagged ‘gay marriage’

June 25th, 2011

I join many, many people today to celebrate the passage of a marriage equality law in my home state, New York.

As one (straight) friend put it: ‘we were thinking of you tonight and the lifting of Jupiter’s Shadow.’

I am filled with joy for all of us here today — and hope for the next generation to which we can now leave this wonderful legacy. I do believe this will provide more hope that love is always blessed, more proof that it gets better, and more light to those who feel crushed in the shadows.

Thanks to all the senators who had the bravery and integrity to pass this legislation — including some who risked much politically to do so.

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December 5th, 2009

It is Christmastime and I long to be wrapped in the excitement of the season — the anticipation of parties and friends and family and church and that wonderful speech by Linus. The challenge: I am somewhere between discouraged and outraged with recent news headlines:

– New York State Senate rules against marriage equality 38-24 (with a report that said Senator Jim Alesi, the first Republican to vote, “hung his head in his hands and said, ‘so many people have called in from my district opposed to marriage equity.’ ” I have to wonder if a majority of people had called in opposing interracial marriage (a reasonable parallel), if this would preclude our representatives from doing what’s right. But I digress…)

–The Manhattan Doctrine, signed by a number of Christian leaders, including some Catholic bishops, with words like this, directed at those (like me) who have same-gender attraction:

We stand with them, even when they falter. We, no less than they, are sinners who have fallen short of God’s intention for our lives. We, no less than they, are in constant need of God’s patience, love and forgiveness. We call on the entire Christian community to resist sexual immorality, and at the same time refrain from disdainful condemnation of those who yield to it

So many big words that, on the surface, try to appear loving but firm. Now that I am old enough to discern, I clearly read condescension and bigotry. They are just not getting it. I get so charged up thinking about faithful adolescents who this very day are strugging in silence — and who are reading official pronouncements like these and feeling condemned as ‘immoral.’ I remember being in that situation. I remember that NOTHING good I read about homosexuality would sink in…because THE CHURCH said my romantic feelings, if recognized, were immoral. That my romantic life was destined to be about sacrifice, not fulfillment. That was a sad, sad time. I’m glad God pulled me through to a broader discernment in the silence of my heart. I pray that those struggling faithful adolescents today are more open to hearing messages of the positive, affirming, loving, spiritual, and God-blessed celebration of same-gender attraction. But I’m still digressing…

To counter those headlines, I’ve decided to make up a few of my own. Add yours, if you like. Maybe it’s not overly productive, but I’m a firm believer that our attitude is a powerful force in this world. And it’s kinda fun.




November 21st, 2009

I’m here in D.C. for two readings/speakings/booksignings for In Jupiter’s Shadow. Both events were wonderful — signing books at Lambda Rising Bookstore and sharing my testimony for the Allied in Pride group at George Washington University. That’s been a very uplifting experience.

The less-uplifting (would that be down-drafting?) part of this trip occurred when I learned that the U.S. Catholic bishops did move forward to ratify a pastoral letter on marriage that contains this text:

The legal recognition of same-sex unions poses a multifaceted threat to the very fabric of society, striking at the source from which society and culture come and which they are meant to serve. Such recognition affects all people, married and non-married: not only at the fundamental levels of the good of the spouses, the good of children, the intrinsic dignity of every human person, and the common good, but also at the levels of education, cultural imagination and influence, and religious freedom.

I think about my own experience — how I struggled during adolescence with feelings of same-sex attraction in silence. How I didn’t have the hope for a blessed union with a spouse in my life. How these types of statements, put forth by my own church and indicate a legal recognition of my loving commitment to my partner Jeff is a threat to the ‘very fabric of society’ and that such recognition affects ‘the intrinsic dignity of every human person’ are so discouraging.

When I was 23, after ten years of silent prayer, research, and loneliness, I considered taking my own life by jumping off the 11th floor of a resort hotel in Ocean   City, MD. At that time, I felt that God would hate the ‘sin’ of suicide less than the ‘sin’ of me loving another man. Prayerful self-preservation finally kicked in and I didn’t make the leap.

I’m very GRATEFUL that I’m here today to write these words. I’m very BLESSED to share my life with a loving male spouse for more than 12 years now. I’m very CONCERNED about the next generation of faithful kids like me who are out there today, researching (in silence) documents like the recent pastoral letter on marriage. I’m very CLEAR that God intended me to be with Jeff and that, though I’m out here on a Christian limb, I know God is right out here with me.

Ultimately, I remain very HOPEFUL for a brighter future, when all human respect and dignity, including the rights and romances of same-sex partners, is celebrated the planet over.